Darin on the Net

intro, and why i think people have poor methodology

Recently on the interwebs I came across this blog post: iPhone dumbphone by Stepan Parunashvili.

A few notes before I begin: This post and the arguments which I will describe are not unique, this is just a good example. I’m using this post as a way to address assumptions I see many places. Second, the technical solution is very cool. This article is not about that.

The problem posed by this article is not one unique to the author. I, and I’m guessing you as well, have spent too much time on and felt too attached to our devices. But the proposed solutions always feel off to me. People write about regretting time on social media, then continue to use it with screen time guardrails hoping that will make a difference. If social media is as bad as you claim, just get rid of it!! But if it can be good sometimes, don’t shame yourself anytime you use a screen—acknowledge what good comes from it. There is little good attempting to have your cake and eat it too (the cake is a lie, after all.) The core issue here is social. It’s about how we see our device usage and social media usage, and what we value with our time. This cannot be fixed with a technical solution.

algorithms, or my journey away

Over the past year I have gradually and methodically cut algorithmic content out of my life. I stopped using, then deleted my Instagram, I moved off Spotify, and I turned off all watch history on YouTube. I got myself so thoroughly off of internet social life I learned about Noah Kahan’s new album from a physical newspaper.

But why, you might ask? What was this all worth? It has become more and more apparent to me that social media is a social ill. It is designed to be addictive, maximizing “engagement” rather than facilitating real connection. In my life, I have connected with real people far better by being intentional with my time, present where I’m at, and initiating conversation over various instant messaging platforms rather than seeing someone’s post on Instagram. I still remain connected to the world; I get news from RSS feeds, I watch YouTube (from my subscriptions feed only) on occasion, and I hear various happenings from my friends. I have not regretted my disconnection from the very online world. I prefer the very real, very present one.

The social aspect in social media is not worth the myriad of downsides. It is better to be close to people near you, and to be intentional about connecting with the people far from you. Ask about recent happenings! Don’t just see a post, hit the mental-health-issue-inducing like button, and maybe ask your friend about how their vacation really was. If you want more, you could also set up a group chat to share regularly with your friends the things you wouldn’t know to ask about. I read online somewhere about people who would make a video every week about how they’re doing and send it to the chat. The intentionality and care behind that is worth so much more to me than a curated social media post.

data privacy

To take a small tangent, these apps also collect a shocking amount of data. Go to your account page of Spotify, Instagram, Discord, or the like and download it. It’s both interesting and scary to poke through. I may write up a post about this specifically in the future.

various and sundry

The author of the blog post mentions notifications—and the temptation to constantly check for them. This is indeed a big issue. (See https://www.terrygodier.com/the-last-quiet-thing) My advice for this is the same as for the general issue: namely, cut it out! I disable every notification I can, only leaving the ones I actually care about being timely.

Next, email:

“Consider email. I still need to have access to email, and I want to have notifications enabled so I don’t miss something truly important. But 90% of the emails I get aren’t important. I am not sure what the solution is to these kind of apps. Maybe I can find a special mail app, that only shows you important emails. If I had something like this I think I would just be over the moon with this setup.” [emphasis added]

My dear writer. We have had a “special mail app that only shows you important emails” since around 1990. They’re called mail rules. To any readers unaware, mail rules can be defined in your email client or webmail website. They’re a set of rules which will filter incoming email and perform actions based on whatever criteria you provide. For example, you could mark all emails with “Advertisement” in the subject line as read, and put them in a folder. This could mean you still have them for later, but don’t get notifications.

Lastly, screen time! While you will get eye strain and posture problems from looking at one thing for too long, the main issue of our focus is quality, not quantity. If your focus is building things in real life (texting friends, reading/watching things which you will use or share later, etc) don’t fuss so much about the hours.

conclusion

To conclude: stop trying self control and technical measures when much of the internet is designed to be addictive for the good of Meta shareholders rather than yours. Just cut it out!! Second, don’t punish leisure time. Either it’s fine in reasonable amounts to do so, so don’t shame yourself, or you should just remove it from your life because its bad. A relationship with technology in which you keep using it but talk constantly about how it’s bad for you is a toxic one. So put in the work. If it is really such a drain on your time, mind, life, actually just remove it and take action.

however.

The network effect is real. Due to my life circumstances, it was relatively easy for me to leave Instagram at the time I did so, and that does bias my opinions somewhat. That ease is not the case for everyone.

however to the however

I still believe it’s worth doing.